Things I’ve Learned from the Movies – Volume One

There’s wisdom to be found in movies — you just have to look really hard.

  • Richard BenjaminMashed potatoes, if shaped properly, can tell you the location of an alien landing site.
  • If you are about to get married, there’s a good chance the stripper at your bachelor party will change your life.
  • If you create an intelligent robot, it will try to kill you or someone you love.
  • If you are a police detective who has been drummed out of the force, you are almost certainly going to be called upon to catch a serial killer.
  • If you direct one great movie, you will be allowed to direct another 18 bad ones in a row – I’m looking at you Richard Benjamin.
  • No matter who you are, there is a high school vice-principal somewhere who is still out to get you.
  • If you mix sex and food, it is going to turn out badly.
  • Time travel is dangerous and confusing, just say no.
  • Hugh Grant is not as funny as Hollywood thinks he is
  • 1970s television shows are required to become big budget comedies, whether they were originally comedies or not.
  • Jane Austen and William Shakespeare were the only writers working between 1501 and 1896.
  • Japanese monsters move very slowly.
  • No matter where you go, there you are.
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