Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go
I wanna be sedated
Nothin’ to do and no where to go-o-oh
I wanna be sedated
Just get me to the airport put me on a plane
Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane
I can’t control my fingers I can’t control my brain
Oh no no no no no
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sedated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sedated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sedated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sedated
- The mystery of the whereabouts of “Rehab” singer & all-around drunken mess Amy Winehouse was cleared up this week. Her husband Blake Fielder-Civil says that the two have sought help at a “retreat” and that Amy is doing fine, and is “determined to get well.” The Bullets tried to reach the ‘retreat’ for comment, but during the conversation, Amy bashed the admitting nurse over the head with a
coffee table she dragged out of the group therapy room, then ripped the phone out of the wall. - It was announced Thursday that former Girls Gone Wild star and Bush daughter Jenna is engaged to her long-time boyfriend, political hack Henry Hager. The Bullets has learned from a source close to the president that The White House is already busy with wedding preparations, including renting 500 tuxes for the secret service, wire-tapping prospective guests to get a head start on the thank you cards, and sending U.S. military forces into Macy’s for a china pattern that they don’t carry.
- Paris Hilton caused a mob scene as she launched her new clothing line at the Kitson Boutique in L.A. Friday, in an event benefitting the L.A. Children’s Hospital. Paris said she’s been “really blessed by God” and she just wanted to give something back. Ya know Paris, the charity thing was nice… but we’re not sure that snowballing Adrian Grenier is the kind of giving something back that the big guy has in mind.
- Two men died at the New Jersey stop of this year’s Ozzfest on Thursday. A spokesperson for Ozzfest organizers told The Bullets, “Wow. We knew Static X sucked, but we didn’t think it would actually kill anybody.”
- Prison Break star Dominic Purcell is claiming that the upcoming third season of the hit Fox drama will be “the best season thus far.” The actor, who has also starred in Blade: Trinity & Mission Impossible II told TV Guide that everyone should really enjoy the new episodes, except for the kid Lane Garrison killed in that car accident.
- In other TV news, Nichelle “Uhuru” Nichols will join her Star Trek crewmate George “Sulu” Takei in the upcoming season of Heroes. Series creator Tim Kring has also told TV Guide that since the ashes of James “Scotty” Doohan never actually made it into space, he would like them to play the contents of an ashtray in a future episode, just as soon as they finish sweeping all of him up.
- Country singer Travis Tritt has a new album, The Storm, that critics are calling soulful, rocking, and even funky. When The Bullets reached it for comment, a mostly disinterested America said, “That guy still makes albums?”
- Speaking of new albums, The Eagles’ Long Road Out Of Eden will be retailing at Wal Mart for just $11.88, even though it’s a double CD loaded with 20 tracks. When asked why the low price, A Wal Mart representative told The Bullets, “That’s nothing. When the next Rolling Stones album comes out, we’re actually gonna pay you to take it.”
- Hottie-Boom-A-Lottie & former No Doubt front woman Gwen Stefani will extoll the joys of motherhood in a cover story in next month’s issue of InStyle magazine. Gwen even takes her 1 year old son Kingston with her on tour. We don’t really have a story here, The Bullets just wanted to give little Kingston his props… we’ve been wanting to pass through Gwen’s vagina since Tragic Kingdom.
Those are The Bullets for this week kids. Don’t take any wooden nickels… and we really shouldn’t hafta tell you that.
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