Just Us Nerds

“How did you know which one was gonna to shoot first?”

“Well, that one in the center, he had a flap holster and he was in no itchin’ hurry. And the one second from the left, he had scared eyes… he wasn’t gonna do nothin’. But that one on the far left… he had The Thursday Night Bullet Points. Figured him to make the first move.”

The Bullets would like to announce our next T-Shirt Picture contest. To enter, just send us a picture of yourself in this t-shirt. As always, the winner will recieve 10 dollars in their paypal account, and the prestige of having their picture plastered all over our blog, so people can use it as their wallpaper, or photoshop you fucking a donkey, or whatever!

Send your pictures to thebullets.justusnerds@gmail.com.

• Actress and least obnoxious Judd Ashley Judd says that she spent 47 days in a treatment center for depression. The Bullets would like to wish Ashley all the best… we know first-hand how tough depression can be, having been put on prozac after blowing 16 bucks (30 if you count popcorn & drinks) on Double Jeopardy.



• Academy Award winning, giant-toothed actress Hillary Swank told Vanity Fair that part of the reason she and hubby Chad Lowe have split up is Lowe’s problems with addiction. She added that there were other factors, like how he looks & sounds a little like Rob Lowe one minute, and then the next minute he doesn’t, and that’s “kinda creepy.”



• This year’s Emmy nominations include both Martin Sheen, nominated for best actor in a drama for his role on The West Wing, and his son Charlie Sheen, nominated for best actor in a comedy for his role on Two And A Half Men. The Bullets reached the younger Sheen for comment, and he said, “This is almost as cool as the time we both snorted coke off of the same hooker’s ass. That was fucking awesome.”



• The Hollywood baby deluge continued unabaited today, as Academy award winner Russell Crowe & his wife welcomed their second son into the world. Father, mother & child are all said to be doing very well, and the baby has even made his first attempt to throw a Sesame Street phone at a member of the hospital’s housekeeping staff.



• Actor Robert Downey Jr. has inked a deal with publisher Harper Collins to write his memoirs. The memoirs will be published in 2008, but those who don’t want to wait just have to pick up a copy of Brett Easton Ellis’ Less Than Zero. Actually, skip that. Just put the movie in your Netflix queue and call it good.



• CBS Execs are scratching their heads over the weak ratings garnered by the debut of Rockstar: Supernova. When reached for comment by The Bullets, a spokesperson for the network said, “Man, I just can’t believe Gilby Clarke isn’t the answer to all our hopes & prayers.”



• BBC News is reporting that screen icon Sophia Loren, at age 71, has become the oldest woman to pose for the famed Pirelli calendar. This year’s edition will also feature Naomi Watts, Penelope Cruz, Hilary Swank and Lou Doillon. Loren’s calendar shoot, alegedly done in the nude, has also helped spawn a new term: Great Grandmother I’d Like To Fuck, or GGILF.



• According to the Washington Post, Survivor:Thailand winner Brian Heidik has been arrested for… wait for it… that’s right, SHOOTING A PUPPY WITH A BOW & ARROW.. When reached for comment a clearly pissed God, who could be heard firing up the 4 Horsemen of the Apocolypse in the background, said, “That’s it… you little fuckers are outta there.”



• And finally, in birthday news, Jennifer Saunders, comic genius, half of the legendary comedy team French & Saunders, and television’s Edina Monsoon turns 48 today. The Bullets would like to wish you a very Happy Brirthday, Jennifer. You truly are Absolutely Fabulous, darling.

Edina offers Baby Spice some PR advice:

Those are The Bullets for this week, kids… we’re off to watch some clips of our favorite show, The Office. Do join us, won’t you?