Mel Gibson is an anti-Semitic alcoholic conspiracy nut! This is a revelation that’s almost as startling as the Pope being Catholic.
Lance Bass is gay! In similar news, it turns out bears like to defecate in wooded areas.
There’s a heat wave across America! Could this have anything to do with it being the middle of summer?
There’s a war in the Middle East! You could have reported this story at any time in the past few thousand years and been just as correct. Peace in the Middle East . . . that would be news. I’m not talking about peace talks; those have been going on about as long as there’s been war in the Middle East.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes kid hasn’t been seen lately! Yeah, perhaps four months old is a little young for a publicity tour? Come to think of it, I haven’t ever seen Mel Gibson’s kids either . . . I smell a conspiracy Mel!
The `Chappelle’s Show’ Lost Episodes are bad! Really? You think maybe that’s why he told everybody they sucked and quit doing them?
Lindsey Lohan suffering from exhaustion! Wow, do you think two years of hard-work AND non-stop partying might have caught up to her?
Whew, it is good to get that snark out of my system. Now I can go to bed.
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