Just Us Nerds

Steve’s wrap up kicks ass. Read it.

Best Performance: George Clooney was funny, cool and happy, though not always at the same time. His comment about winning best supporting actor meaning he didn’t have a shot at best director was dead on too. I was still amazed that for once they didn’t give best director to an actor. Note: This guy should be hosting the Oscars. We don’t need a comedian. If you want “a return to glamour” let him host it, or even better co-host it with Brad Pitt.

Best Acceptance Speech: Three 6 Mafia. I swear they were the only people at the podium who looked genuinely thrilled to win. Seriously, if you won an Oscar wouldn’t you rather be jumping around and whooping than adjusting your glasses and looking for your slip of paper? They whooped, hollered, shouted and still managed to thank a dozen people without ever looking for a piece of paper. Let’s not forget that these people have about the least to gain from an Oscar as anyone there that night and they still loved it.

Best MILF: Philip Seymour Hoffman’s mom was way hotter than I ever would have thought, but I have to give it to Jennifer Garner. She left the kid at home but she brought the twins with her. As for her trip, I think she’s just not used to being that topheavy.

Biggest Slight: Where the hell was Don Knotts in the memorial? You show me one person in Hollywood who hasn’t seen The Incredible Mr. Limpet. Talk about punishing a man for being on TV. I guess he’ll have to wait for the Emmy Awards before he gets any love.

Best Comment by Jon Stewart: “And coming up, the Oscar’s salute to montages.”

Most Incoherent: I love Lauren Bacall but I had to hit the fast forward on my Tivo after the first two minutes of her stumbling over every third word. I hope there isn’t anything seriously wrong with her.

That’s it for awards, just because this year’s Oscars was dead on arrival. I don’t blame Jon Stewart. The crowd was so dead it may get a guest shot on CSI.