Just Us Nerds

Dear Mr. Media,
I recently read the Dakota Fanning is being horribly exploited. This was accompanied by footage of her living in a dilapidated shack. I have to wonder, is Dakota Fanning working in a Kazakhstan sweat shop?
Worried About Dakota.

Dear WAD,
I am happy to report that Dakota is neither working in a sweat shop nor on location in Kazakhstan. She spent this week promoting a coming of age story called Hounddog. The story, which I am told is NOT a remake of Because of Winn Dixie, is about a young girl coming growing up in the deep south during the sixties. Apparently some people are concerned about the film because, rumor has it, Dakota is actually acting in this one. Rather than portray a perky young asexual waif who is wise beyond her years, she plays a character that is not overly intelligent, funny, perky or out to kill Robert DeNiro. This is troubling to most people. Also, the movie contains sexual themes, and not happy I just kissed a boy for the first time themes. Apparently there are bad people out there, and Dakota’s character has a rather nasty run in with one of them.

Some people are concerned that Dakota can’t tell reality from acting. If this is the case, I feel very bad for her. In her world, Sean Penn is retarded, Lynn Redgrave is a witch, Michael Myers is a psychotic cat, aliens are constantly attacking and kidnapping people and Tom Cruise is her father. Pretty scary stuff if you ask me. I personally like to think that Dakota, who actually reads the scripts for movies before she takes a job, was pretty sure that she wasn’t really being sexually assaulted.