In celebration of this great and glorious day, I would like to provide some quotations from some of television’s greatest Dads of all time:
Howard Cunningham – Happy Days
Well, what can I say? Both of our children are married now and they’re starting out to build lives of their own. And I guess when you reach a milestone like this you have to have to reflect back on, on what you’ve done and, and what you’ve accomplished. Marion and I have not climbed Mount Everest or written a great American novel. But we’ve had the joy of raising two wonderful kids, and watching them and their friends grow up into loving adults. And now, we’re gonna have the pleasure of watching them pass that love on to their children. And I guess no man or woman could ask for anything more. So thank you all for being, part of our family… To happy days.
Red Forman – That 70s Show
Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
Al Bundy – Married With Children
I’d rather slam my nose in a car door. I’d rather have a proctologist named Dr. Hook. I would rather watch Roseanne Barr do a striptease than take these little booger machines camping.
Archie Bunker – All In The Family
Three Men in a Tub, they had a water shortage in them days. So everything in Fairyland was in threes, you know, except the dwarfs. There was seven of them ’cause they was little and the wolf was after them so the wolf came running after them and boy he had one hell of a breath. He blew down their house and they had to find another joint so they run through the woods and they run into Goldilocks and she took them all in to live with her and there’s nothin’ wrong with that because she was a nice girl and they’re old anyway. So they got another house but the wolf came along and blew that one down too so then they run through the woods again and they come to a brick house and that belonged to Disney so they all moved in there and started working for him.
Ward Cleaver – Leave It To Beaver
Let’s face it, June, Wally and Eddie have been friends for four or five years now – nothing’s ever really happed.
Steven Keaton – Family Ties
Alex, parents are conditioned to put up with a few minor accidents when they leave their children home alone. A broken vase, spilt milk on the rug… There was a kangaroo… in my living room.
Paul Hennessy — 8 Simple Rules… for Dating My Teenage Daughter
In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”
Homer Simpson – The Simpsons
Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike, you just go in every day and do it really half-assed – that’s the American way.
Ben Cartwright – Bonanza
I don’t have anything against education – as long as it doesn’t interfere with your thinking!
Dr. Heathcliff ‘Cliff’ Huxtable – The Cosby Show
Theo… that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life! No wonder you get D’s in everything! You’re afraid to try because you’re afraid your brain is going to explode and it’s going to ooze out of your ears. Now I’m telling you, you are going to try as hard as you can. And you’re going to do it because I said so. I am your father. I brought you into this world, and I’ll take you out!
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