Hooked On David Hasselhoff

Posted by J.C. on April 11, 2006 under Movies, Music, TV | 2 Comments to Read

It’s been a while since I’ve gotten a chance to hang out with my TV friend David Hasselhoff. As the whole world knows, David Hasselhoff is one of the twentieth century’s most legendary actors and singers. While he has never gotten the respect he deserves here in America, the man is known the world over for his charm, his acting skill and his wonderful singing voice. Rumor is that he is making a big screen version of his hit TV show “Knight Rider”. As long has he is the star, and the movie is not some cheesy Ben Stiller “homage” then you know I will be there. K.I.T.T. was the coolest car ever, mainly because he had the coolest driver. To get you caught up, here are some fun facts about David Hasselhoff.

• David Hasselhoff is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as “The Most Watched TV Star in the World”.
• David Hasselhoff should also be listed as the World’s Greatest Slow Motion Actor
• David Hasselhoff’s first major professional job came on the CBS soap opera, “Young and the Restless,” playing Dr. Snapper Foster.
• “Snapper Foster” is also a euphemism for breakup sex.
• Knight Rider has aired in 62 different countries
• “Night Ride Her” was the name of a low quality XXX movie that did NOT star David Hasselhoff. Don’t be fooled at your video store.
• David Hasselhoff’s remarkable musical career took off in the late 1980s when he recorded the album and song, “Looking for Freedom”, at the end of the Cold War. The song became an anthem for the German people and remained at the top of their charts for eight weeks.
• David Hasselhoff is better looking than 99.72% of the total world population.
• David Hasselhoff’s most recent album, “David Hasselhoff Sings America,” is a selection of his favorite American pop standards such as “Rhinestone Cowboy”, “These Boots Are Made For Walking”, “Blue Bayou” and “La Isla Bonita”.
• Rumors that David Hasselhoff is the Antichrist are totally unfounded. He is simply a multi-talented performer with a worldwide following outside of his own country.
• David Hasselhoff recently made his long-awaited theatrical debut in the Broadway musical “Jekyll and Hyde”
• If David Hasselhoff were a watermelon, he’d be seedless and delicious.
• “Baywatch” has aired in over 140 countries with a weekly audience of over one billion people.
• David Hasselhoff travels all over the world both as a musician and a representative of his charity, “Race for Life”.
• If you are about to get beat up by a gang of German punks, yell “David Hasselhoff rules!” It can’t hurt. More than once, David Hasselhoff has rescued real people from drowning and other dangers.
• In 1993, David Hasselhoff, attempted to break into the American music market with a live pay per view special from Atlantic City. Unfortunately it aired at the same time as O.J. Simpson’s legendary White Bronco chase.
• At this very moment, David Hasselhoff could be anywhere in the world. Wherever he is, I’ll be he’s the coolest guy within 72 square yards.